saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't think brook has ever known best
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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