He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
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Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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