your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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