'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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