I'm lost and stupid without you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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