apparently the secret to your success is patron
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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