he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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