is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize