she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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