ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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