so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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