Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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