when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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