Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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