There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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