so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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