have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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