They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize