Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize