And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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