I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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