her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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