Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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