I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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