so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize