Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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