Where is the hickey?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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