apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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