i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize