last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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