its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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