u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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