So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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