I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize