Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize