i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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