just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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