just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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