...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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