It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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