I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize