i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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