i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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