I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize