I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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