Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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