would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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