Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize