I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize