i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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